Stuck

I crossed the WA / SA border with 30 mins to spare (or so I thought!) only to discover, after two days free camping on the SA side of the border, that Ceduna had been decreed the new SA border… “even the police didn’t know,” I was told by Roadhouse staff. Okay.

So I’m holed up at the Nullarbor Roadhouse, effectively in no man’s land, stuck between two borders. To cross either of them, I need to be an ‘essential traveller’.

Corona virus…who would have believed, that a microscopically tiny living thing, could have the power to cancel travel plans for millions of people around the world, cause businesses to close, countless people to lose their jobs, economies to teeter on an unstable ledge and for people to behave like toilet paper is a life and death acquisition. Of all these things, the lack of kindness and community in people is the most disappointing for me. People, who would normally consider themselves as ‘nice’, have dropped their masks and are displaying aggressive and callous attitudes to others. I am not disputing the effects of the virus on immuno-compromised people but for the majority, this virus is survivable. Yet there are so many people acting as if strangers are an imminent threat to their lives. I never thought I’d see this behaviour in a country that is not at war. I feel disappointed in people for that. I may yet resign from the human race. Just saying… LOL.

NZ’s Jacinda Ahern is again proving what a world class leader she is, by rolling out a decisive plan to deal with the pandemic, while communicating in her trademark inclusive, clear and calm way, thereby giving people a sense that this pandemic will have an end, while again reminding us all to be, above all, kind to each other. I wish Australia had her leadership at our helm. Instead the bad news junkies are gleefully spreading misinformation, conflicting stories and rumours, catastrophizing and revelling in their sense of being relevant and feeling important. I got myself into a bit of a drama mode, from uncertainty and worry, from listening to it all. Then I remembered that I’m in charge of what I take into my brain (or at least should be). I decided to unfollow a few social media groups, because the majority of the messages were bad news junkies.

Since doing so, I feel much more peaceful. I’ve remembered that the people I love are all healthy and happy. I have shelter (albeit small), enough food and water, loads of reading material, internet connection, shower, toilet, power. My needs are all met. The roadhouse is an environment where I feel welcome but they have a sense of self containment and my leaving will not leave a hole.

There is so much to be grateful for.

The Nullarbor is a beautiful witch, despite the apparently lifeless, featureless, arid landscape – it bewitches you with its sense of acceptance, welcome and survival. The wind is a force to be respected…it’s relentless during the day. I put my washing line out and had to use two ties to anchor it to the caravan (and I had to hold on to it, as well), so I didn’t end up with my undies all over the Nullarbor. But I had the ties available to use, so it’s all good. No one will find my undies on the plains. The morning sunrises are worth getting out of bed early for. The coral, orange, gold and blue colours stretch wide across the flat horizon reminding me of the beauty that can be had for free in nature. It’s fleeting, so you have to be present though…another reminder. The nights are cold, so it’s a pleasure to snuggle into warm blankets, with the rumble and rattle of the passing roadtrains a surprisingly reassuring background sound. The night sky is immense overhead, liberally decorated with silver dots of twinkling light, reminding me that I’m a small part of creation, not the centre of it (that’s planned for the next life time.) It’s a very grounding place, is our Nullarbor.

There is a dingo, who frequents this Roadhouse. She’s beautiful. She has a sore paw, so I hope she survives. She trots companionably along beside the Roadhouse staff as they go about their business, just like a domestic dog, but when she meets your eyes, she does so as an equal, not a pet. When people, inevitably, feed her, she accepts the meal as graciously as if she has been served a meal in a restaurant. She utilises the resources available to her at the Roadhouse, on her own terms, without selling her soul. She epitomises courage, resourcefulness, dignity and adaptability. I admire her with every fibre of my being. To survive in this landscape, is one thing but to thrive, like she is, is amazing.

So having disconnected with all the scaremongers, I have spent today getting some additional funds organised to tide me over for a bit, I’ve sent out my CV and done some job hunting. I sent an email to work, to find out whether going back is an option, in case things get worse. I’ll hole up here for a few days. My intuition was to leave after one day here but I am finding it hard to follow it when it seems illogical as I have nothing to head to (I have a sense that this is disapproved of). I’m going to spend a little time breathing, centering myself and getting back to knowing what I need to do next. Logically, it would make sense to go back to my job (if that is an option), hunker down for the time being. But that seems like giving up at the first obstacle (though it’s a pretty big obstacle) so I’m just going to breath into it, see what my gut is telling me and go from there…ideally in trust.

Stay well everyone.